Final Chance
by Jessiclar
Summary: Merlin finally gets the chance to tell Arthur of his magic. It's just not the way he wanted it to go.


Merlin started blankly at the King in front of him. He looked so peaceful. Slowly walking over to the table, Merlin struggled to reach it. It was almost as if his legs refused to move any close. As if they were afraid to confront Arthur. Reaching the table the breath left Merlin's chest. His lungs felt as if they had collapsed on him. He looked at his King. This would be the last time Merlin got to see him and he was asleep. Not that Merlin could blame Arthur for that at all.

This wasn't Arthur's usual sleep and as he laid there he made no movement. No snores or groans like Merlin was use to. He use to complain about them but now he missed them more than anything. It would be nice to hear those groans that he would now have to go without for the rest of his life. Merlin didn't want to leave Arthur. He didn't want to say goodbye. Arthur was his destiny. Yet Merlin didn't have a choice. He had to say goodbye to his King and now was the time that he had to do this. Seeing no harm it in, Merlin gently placed his hand upon Arthur's head and began running his hand through his hair. The slumbering man did not wake. Instead he laid there still. Merlin sighed. All this would be so much easier if Arthur was awake. We wished he could look into those beautiful blue eyes before he disappeared. He wished but he was denied this privilege.

A pool of tears that had been collecting in Merlin's eyes finally burst their bank and began streaming down the warlock's face. He promised himself he would be strong. It was only a goodbye after all. He should be stronger than that. He didn't bother to wipe away his tears. Instead he let them fall. They began to collect on Arthur's clothing, damping them a little. Merlin knew they would dry soon. Until then he let the tears fall freely from his face. Now was the time to finally tell Arthur his secret. The one he had hidden through all their years of being friends. The secret that had saved Arthur's live so many times. The secret he had to tell now before it was too late. Merlin sniffed, taking in a deep breath.

"Arthur," Merlin's voice cracked. "Arthur, I'm so sorry. I tried. I tried so hard to help you but it appears I failed." Arthur didn't awake or react to his words. Instead he remained sleeping. Merlin swallowed as he tried to find the words he needed to say. He decided that this would have been harder if Arthur was actually awake but there wasn't much he could do about that. It was finally time for the lie to come out. "All those years, Arthur. I was lying to you and I think it only fair that I should tell you before I say goodbye."

Leaning close into his King he took in his scent. The tears still falling but no longer on the clothing. This time they fell softly onto Arthur's face and rolled down his cheeks. As if their tears were one. Never again, thought Merlin. Finally finding the courage to lean even closer, Merlin leaned close to Arthur's ear. Merlin spoke in barely a whisper. "I'm a sorcerer." The words felt like a huge weight being taken off his shoulders. He had wished to tell Arthur this for years and now, that he finally had, Arthur would never know in conscience form. This realisation hurt Merlin. As he stood up he sniffed again and brought his neckerchief to his eyes to try and remove some of the tears. He remained unsuccessful.

He took one finally glance at his King but he finally turned around and began walking to the doors. Stopping there he refused to turn around to steal one more glance. It would only hurt him too much. Instead he spoke. In hope that his words would carry to his sleeping King. In hope that he would hear them. "Goodbye, Arthur Pendragon. You were a great King." The tears flowed harder from his eyes and he flung the doors open, left and closed the doors on Arthur. That would be the last time he would ever see him.

Merlin wasn't there the next day but there was no concerned Arthur to point this out. No Arthur to throw things at him. People lined the streets but not with their usual working selves. No noise filled the air. No knights at training. No trumpets or cheers or anything else. Just silence. The town centre was filled with the citizens of Camelot. All surrounding the giant podium in the centre. On top laid their King. Dressed all in red. His knights gathered at the bottom. Gazing up at their leader. Their friend. Later that day they would look for Merlin. The manservant would be nowhere to be found. Instead, in the heart of the woods, sat the broken warlock. Tears streaming from his eyes with no one around to see. Camelot was a painful place for him to be right now. The world was a painful place. He looked up through the tree tops and stared at the clouds. Wondering if Arthur was looking down on him now. Merlin called up to the sky. In desperate hope that he could hear him. "I tried to save you. I failed you, Arthur. I failed."

It was nightfall before Merlin finally reached the lake. Looking out he could see the moonlight shine off its surface. Walking into the lake, the water began to fold around him until it reached his waist. Merlin could not see a world with Arthur. He could not see a world where he had failed. He looked up to the stars again and pleaded for forgiveness before finally uttering his last spell. As the magical fires consumed him, defying the water and refusing to extinguishing, Merlin remained silent. Soon he would be reunited with Arthur. He would plead for forgiveness and tell his secret to Arthur again. Soon the balance of the world would be restored. As the fires continues to roar and the final breath escaped Merlin's lungs Merlin was certain of one thing. Merlin was going finally home to his King.


End file.
